As I try to focus my heart more on Christ this new year, and "walk humbly before your God" like Micah 6:8 says, I've asked God to give me His eyes for other people, and grow my compassion for them. I get so hurried in my life, and so focused on my schedule, my agenda, etc., that I can easily pass people by, brush them off, without stopping to invest the love of God in them. I want to change that.
Well, God put me to the test right away, and gave me opportunities to be compassionate. And I failed miserably a couple of times. First, a young man who used to be in our children's ministry came by to visit me in the RockiTown room early Sunday morning, while I was working to get everything set up for the morning worship hours. I was less than glad to see him, and was not as friendly to him as I could have been. After some small talk, while I was still working away, he quietly said goodbye, and slipped out of the room. Then at the end of the morning, as the last of the kids had left for the day, a dad came through, who serves in the Army reserves and got back from Iraq in the past year. He asked for prayer in reconnecting with his 8-year old son, and for wisdom in dealing with some rebellion & respect issues they were beginning to have with him. I was finishing the process of putting everything away, and was tired at the end of a long morning (7am to 12:30pm), and gave him the customary "I'll pray for you", with some words of "every parent deals with these, welcome to parenthood" platitudes.
I was later so convicted over both encounters. I missed two opportunities to show compassion. It bummed me out for a couple of days.
Then today at the gym, I saw this lady that I had seen there before, and recognized from somewhere. She had looked at me before like she recognized me as well. As I saw her again today, I realized she worked at the gym, but instead of hurrying back to the office, and rather than passing by her and just saying, "Hi, how are you, good to see you" like we so often do, I stopped and asked her if we knew each other. Turns out, her family had attended my former church back in the 90's, and her two older kids had come up through my children's ministry there. Wow, that was how we knew each other! I asked her how the family was doing, and she proceeded to confide in me that her marriage fell apart about 8 years ago, she had struggled to provide for her 3 kids over the years, had lost a job in nursing that she had trained for, and only recently began work at the gym. I asked if she was attending that church still, and she said she had not been back since the divorce. She told me that she used to teach in preschool there, was involved in Adult Sunday School ministry, went to visitation every week, and never missed a worship service. Yet when her marriage and family was in crisis, no one ever contacted them to find out what was happening, or to say that they were missed. She relocated her kids up to Dacula, but had not plugged back into any church since.
So here is this woman who I had once ministered to her children, dealing with the pain of a divorce and the pain of neglect from a church she had once faithfully served, coupled with the ongoing struggles of being a single mom. God kept me there listening to her, in the lobby of the gym, while she confided these things in her kids' old children's pastor from years ago. She finally had to get back to work, and only then did I say I'd pray for her and her family, and that we'll talk again sometime.
I left there today praying for her, and asking God, "Give me your eyes for the broken-hearted, and the compassion to not pass them by." Jesus would be in a crowd of people, and notice someone to the side who needed His touch, or someone who needed His attention. He always stopped, always made time, no matter who or what was pressing Him to keep moving.
Father, I want to stop for people more, and give them the love and life they need, from Your heart, through mine, to theirs.
Fill me with compassion.